Some people around the neighborhood know me as a do-it-yourself kind of guy. I thought I'd go over some of the steps I take when I am preparing to improve upon my home so that others may benefit from my experiences.
Gathering the Materials
Many people ask the experts "Are brand name home improvement supplies worth the extra cost?" Absolutely! For example, Band-Aid(tm) brand bandages are much better than store-brand. They have better characters, such as SpongeBob and Scooby Doo, and according to the old jingle, they will stick in soapy suds. That last point is important because you'll need to wash your hands to clean out new wounds while you're wearing Band-Aids to cover the existing wounds.
Preparing the Worksite
Preparation, Preparation, Preparation! Included in that preparation is making sure your home improvement materials are close at hand when you need them. For example, it is very difficult to clean blood drips off interior latex paint, so I recommend keeping some Wet Ones(tm) wipes handy to clean up the inevitable smudges. If you're working on, say, a dryer with glossy appliance paint, keeping those wipes close at hand isn't quite as important, with one exception: blood will produce rust in no time if not cleaned from untreated metal. (Which should make you wonder what exactly blood contains that causes metal to rust instantly.)
Time to Start!
Start your home improvement project by double-checking your plans and materials, then get going! This is the exciting part, where all your training, judgment, and life experience pay off. I don't want to brag, but once during a project that I had prepared extensively for, I skinned three knuckles and was able to clean and bandage all three without dripping any blood on my tuxedo. My fast thinking paid off, and my additional cleaning bill from Mr. Leroy's Tux World was much lower than the previous time.
Project Clean-Up
The mark of a true home improvement professional is attention to detail, whether it's before, during, or after the job. A clean work site can mean the difference between a satisfied customer (or wife) and hours of grumbling under your breath after the workers have left. I usually start on one end of the work site, cleaning up any red stains or drips with Wet Ones wipes, and picking up any Band-Aid wrappers or boxes along the way. Make sure to dispose of any biological waste in an environmentally safe manner - if you wrap them in banana peels the garbage men will not notice them.
A Job Well Done
Congratulations! You're finished, and your project was a success! Your worksite is clean, and your fingers are covered with Bob the Builder and Elmo Band-Aids. (The reason you're not wearing regular, brown Band-Aids is because your kids refuse to wear Bob and Elmo now that they're older, and you have a huge box of them in the closet.)
Project Follow-Up
About a week after your project, you want to make sure the customer is still satisfied with the work. Also, you should also check each of your wounds for infection or discoloration. If a nail gun was used during your project, remember to inspect both the entrance and exit wounds. If you find you need health care, please check to make sure your hands have not been infected since last time you lost your insurance, because that would be considered a pre-existing condition.
Good luck with your project!
No comments:
Post a Comment